She was the perfect woman,
She was my kind of a bird,
'Cos she stayed in the kitchen and she never said a word.
She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse,
But now she's into barbeques and wine bars.
Oh, I used to go out with her 'cos she cooke
A Fool Such As I lyrics

(Now and then there's a fool such as I) 
Pardon me, if I'm sentimental
When we say goodbye
Don't be angry wit
d me all me meals,
Then one day she made it big when she won Miss Macclesfield.
She married and Italian just 'cos he were posh,
And they honeymooned in Brussles and he played a bit of squash.
Next she wed an ale baron who come from Lancashire,
But he wasn't rich, he was just another
(I've Got No) No Self Control lyrics
 Wigan queer.
Oh, I used to out with here 'cos she cooked me all me meals,
Miss Macclesfield....
Then one day she made it big, when she won Miss Macclesfield.
She'll get fed up of buffets and one day she'll come back,
'Cos she knows that all the real men live in Macc,
She'll tell me
Cinema Cafe lyrics

There is a man sitting in a window
watching the late night sun
it is chill and breezy, I'm cold
but he doesn'
 that she loves me and she hated livin' with toffs,
So I'll slip her a length and then I'll tell her,
Fuck off.
I used to go out with her 'cos she cooked a nice bit of grub,
She may have been a beauty queen but I'd rather go down the pub.
Miss Macclesfield, Miss Macclesfield.