I don't know what you heard about me 
But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free 
You can sit yourself on my knee 
But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. 
 
I don't know what you heard about me 
But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free 
You can sit yourself on my knee 
But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. 
 
Now Sharon, she's in the pub, she's pullin a pint 
And pullin the punters if she thinks the price is right (ohh...) 
She's into nuts and gin 
With Slimline Tonic 
She plucked out her eyebrow with dribble lyin on it 
I go buy her a drink and just get her some pork scratchins 
But I keep her off my pint cos I think her water's catchin (euh!) 
It's pub quiz night and she's bad for my health 
She asked me 21 questions and they're all about herself
Never In Your Sun lyrics


I never, never had a dream come true
In my every dream, I'm loved by you
And we're free as the wind
And true love is no sin
Therefore, men are men, not machines
I never, never had a dream come true

Without you, the world out there is painted shades of blue
Since our roads never crossed
I work just to please the boss
Think I might as well get
 (what?!) 
She likes my hair, she likes my car - she's in the Daily Sport 
I don't understand a single word 
Cos she comes from York 
I'm not that bloke that's only tryin to get her into bed 
I'm that bloke that's only tryin cos I'm off my head 
We can leave now, if you're startin to get bored 
We'll take the bus home cos my Nova's not insured 
Look luv it's simple, if you're sittin with me - 
Sip your drink, but don't touch my P.I.N.T. (hahaha) 
 
I don't know what you heard about me (yeah!) 
But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free 
You can sit yourself on my knee 
But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. 
 
Bup, bup, bup, bup - burn unit 
 
F for FTY 
Pence  - that's me 
I work in the Burn Unit Infirmary 
NHS pension 'till I'm 63 
And you know that I'm representin King's La
They're Moving Father's Grave To Build A Sewer lyrics

They're moving father's grave to build a sewer
They're moving it regardless of expense.
They're moving his remains to lay down nine-inch
drains
To irrigate some rich bloke's residence.
Now what's the use of having a religion?
If when you're dead you cannot get some peace
'Cause some society chap wants a pipeline to his
tank
And moves you from your place of
ngley 
 
F for FTY 
Pence  - that's me 
I'm a nature loving geezer - you can find me in the tree 
I'm accidentally known and locally accepted 
Get off my pint! 
So know you know about me 
 
Yeah luv, got my Reebok classics on 
I'm about to show you why my pint hand is quite strong 
You're not wrong if you think I've got a lazy eye 
It's cos I had a mishap with a steak and kidney pie (oops!) 
I downed a pint the same way I down a glass of water 
I swear I didn't know this bird was the Landlord's daugher 
Burn U.N.I.Tzy 
I bumped my head, and now I'm feeling dizzy 
I've got people in Watford that know how I get down 
I've got a bird in Hemel 
A few mates in town 
I've got a job in McDonald's, and I'm not messin around 
I've got a Big Mac, McFlurry's and a quarter pound-err
Sorrow lyrics

Father can you jear me?
How have I let you down?
I curse the day that I was born
and all the sorrow in this world

Let me take you to the herding ground 
where all good men are trampled down
Just to settle a bet that could not be won 
between a brightful father and his son

Will you guide me now for I can't see a reason 
for the suffering and 
r (hahaha) 
Just put it on my tab 
Pick up a donna at Millennium Keebab (hello) 
So closin time, and about the fightin 
I've got a beer-proof vest to avoid the pinting (peesh) pintinging... 
 
I don't know what you heard about me 
But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free 
You can sit yourself on my knee (yeah!) 
But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. 
 
I don't know what you heard about me (haha) 
But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free 
You can sit yourself on my knee 
But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. 
 
Yeah 
Now in Hollywood they say there's no business like showbusiness 
Well in the pub, Dave said, there's no business like the dole business 
He's a baker 
Ya see ifItalkreallyfastIsoundlikeapratbutifyoulistenrealfastyaknowthatIain'tgonna slow down (haha)... 
Yeah